Sunday, June 25, 2006
yesterday XD
in the morning ....
went jurong point meet kelvin..
den go play arcade ; movie ; arcade
den later natMEII cum find me ..
den we go cityhall find kailing
den dunno go here and there with them ..
den later went arcade play XD
sit mrt went city hall meet mattBENDAN
den sit to clementi ...
wait fer chynaTAN
take 165 to alyssaSTEAD daddy house XD
walk walk walk ...
den people kept SCREAMING
alyssaSTEAD party ~
omg omg !
the condo was damn damn nice !!
alyssaSTEAD came hugging me !
with a cup of alchol in her hand ...
and she SPILL at me okay !
my bag ... clothes .. shoes WAS WET !
den nvm ..
went to basement XD
haiish ...
saw them ...
wahlaos ...
ii was lke ... going break down ...
den ren ren ...
den joanna ; shane ; jerrica was there ...
den we drink xD
daniel sth and coke ...
OMG !
it is damn nice larrh !!
drank bout 3 - 4 cups of it ...
den errms errms ..
went to the other room den dance dance dance !
lolls !!
fun funn ~
2 ppl got drunk ..
kailing and joanna ...
OMG OMG !
it is scary okay !!
den have some problem ..
btw esther and nat ...
den we start calling and scold ppl ..
lolls lolls !
den settle problem ...
den sang b`dae song XD
alyssa mother made sum drink ..
DAMN NICE !
red wine with sum fruits and stuff XD
me and chyna was lke drinking alot of cups ...
nat ; kailing ; joanna ; mahera went home ..
den tessa and friends came ...
with one bottle of absoult vodka ( vanilla )
it taste DAMN HORRIBLE !!
den we played drop down ... or sth ...
everyone of us !
lolls ...
omg omg !
HORRIIBLEE !
den left me and chyna in tt room ..
the rest dunno go where ..
den me and chyna drank the rest of the drink tt aly mum made.
in tt pot !
lolls ...
we took straws and drank everything larrh !
nice niceee !
hahahahas .
den yeahh ...
me and chyna jus started crying and stuff
den matt and shane ii think
was packing up both rooms ..
ahahhaa .
den sth bad actually happen at the pool ..
den skip skip skip ....
den me ; chyna ; aly ; jerrica ; matt ; shane
went up to aly hse ...
and we played truth or dare XD
yeaps yeapps .
den aly mum say the guys mus leave at 1am ..
and we mus go to bed too ...
den after tt ...
we pretend to sleep ...
and bout 2 plus
den called them ...
me and chyna went dwn
meet them ...
den we dunno wad to do ...
den we was lke shouting fer her
in a soft voice .
den she was lke freaking out !
she tot she heard sth !
lolls lolls !
den me and chyna shine sos LIGHT
den she saw us !!
at last !
den we sneak them in the hse ,
in the guest room ..
me ; chyna ; aly ; matt ; shane
den we tok tok tok ...
bout 4.2o we went sleep ...
den 5.3o wake up ..
LOL LOL !
den me and chyna stayed in bed ..
aly send them out of the hse ..
den yeah ..
we sleep till bout 9 ..
den eat chicken pie XD
lolls lolls !
den slackk ..
den went home bout 123o barrhs XD
fun fun xDD
Last Updated @ 10:24 PM
you are all i need Y
Friday, June 23, 2006
chloe and charissaEVILbaobeii ~
love her loads <33
love SSP aiai XD
evil baobeii 184 <33
remember our secret !
crazyy us <33
2oo6o6 ; 21o3HRs * aiai eternity
smokiing KILLS
love this piic loads larh !
Last Updated @ 12:22 PM
you are all i need Y
Thursday, June 22, 2006
Things will never be the same without you
What did I do to deserve this
I didn't even get one last kiss From you ?
oh baby
God took your love from me
He needed an angel so it seems
I need to feel your hands all over me
I need to feel you kissin me
I need to feel you holdin me
I need to feel your touch
Cuz I miss your love so much
And I? cant keep on living this way
I need you here with me
Why would he take you away... from me
It's hard for me to tell you I love you
As I'm standing over your grave
And I'll know I'll never hear your voice again
Why did you leave me
Why couldn't you just stay
Because my world is nothing, without you
Now I don't know what to do with myself
I would've given you anything
Just to make you happy
Just to hear you say that you love me one last time
I'd go to hell and back over and over again
Just to prove to you, how much I need you here
There is nothing that I wouldn't do
I cry for you?I lied for you
And there's no doubt that if
I could take your place from heaven
I would die for you?yes I would
I would rather give up my life
Then to see tears in your eyes
I can't stand to see you cry
I just dont know what to do with myself
I cant stand looking at those pictures on my shelf
Knowing it was just one week ago, stood there and took that picture
There's just one thing that I want to know
Why would god want to hurt me so bad
Does he know how much it hurts to be missing you
Baby, Im missing you?baby Im missing you
I love you?ooh?god damnit I love you
Why did he did he take you away,from me because I love you so?
I miss you so much baby?
I just cant go on baby
haiish ...
this lyrics is like ..
describing my feelings all these while ...
i dunno why ..
i suddenly think of him ..
i just cant get him out of my mind .
i relli miss him ..
i still love him ...
does he know ?
does he ?
haiish ...
I LOVE AYRTON ~
i love him , i love him
haiish ....
why cant i just go on ..
why why why
i feel so helpless ..
i feel so lost .
i want him ..
which is something IMPOSSIBLE
present , future ..
this is like ...
the first time ..
ii love someone so deeply ..
and the first time ..
ii ever waited so long ..
cried so long ..
haiish ..
ii wont wish fer a forever anymore ..
ii jus wish fer ..
long lasting ..
find that ....
forever dun even exist in this world .
love seems so selfish ,
when you wan the person you love back
when they are out of ur life ..
it seems so difficult to have them back ..
it`s too late to regret .
it`s too late to change what has/had happen
everything is GONE
haiish ...
Last Updated @ 12:34 AM
you are all i need Y
Monday, June 19, 2006
haiish ...
i am thinking what should ii do tomorrow ..
should ii return
should ii keep
ii really dunno ..
ii feeling damn confused now .
is like ...
why didnt he ask from me back earlier ..
but now ..
i hate to make decision ..
I HATE IT ~
so manii things happening in my life ..
and he is yet finding another problem to make me ..
think of ...
mess with ..
i scared it will make the whole matter big ..
i want to return him ..
but ii dun bear to leave this bear ..
haiish ...
what should i do ..
i hope he might change his mind ...
am i going to run away with his bear tomorrow ?
should ii bring it to his house ?
should i just leave it at home ?
fcuk it ..
ii dunno what to do ..
i think my feelings are starting to fade ..
cos i saw his true colours ..
issit the reason ?
he complain to his girlfriend about me ..
and he is still the same as before ..
make empty promises ..
which make me DAMN pissed off ..
i wish i could just take up the courage
and tell him off everything ..
he never change ...
after that break
he promise he will ..
but he broke it again ..
all the promise he made ..
were just empty promise ..
i think he dun even remember those promise .
he promised me ..
but he can remember those promise ii promised him .
not cutting myself ...
ii did not .
okay ...
maybe ii can say ii used to .
ii mean ..
that time after break .
ii really could not stand it ..
when ii cut ..
ii dun feel the pain ..
but when ii feel better ..
ii feel the pain .
but after that ..
i did not even cut anymore ...
okay ...
maybe i cant control him .
only she can ..
but she like dun even care bout him .
or am i feeling too sentitive ?
whatever it is ...
i just dun trust his promise anymore ...
sooner or later ,
i will tell him everything straight to his face .
he never think .
never use his brain to think .
whatever he want to do ..
i dun wish to care ..
i really dun wish to care .
but ii dunno why ..
i just get myself worried .
and make myself think about stuff .
make myself cant sleep .
damn silly of me ..
i know ..
from the start i already am ..
should i return or keep ..
should i return or keep ..
should i return or keep ..
seriously saying ..
i want to forget him ..
but ii dunno why at the same time ii just keep thinking of him ..
ii think that my feelings for him are fading ..
but at the same time ..
ii still love him ..
so what am i thinking of now ..
i am sick of dealing with problems .
i am sick of losing people .
so mani things has happen to me
this holiday .
my tears taste so pain .
i wan chyna back as my meii .
i wan mahera back as my jiee .
i really regret what i hav done .
do they know i want them back .
i wan him back .
but it is impossible .
i hope he could read ..
all my previous post ..
my book ..
which was full of my feelings ..
maybe not now barrhs ...
maybe next time ..
i scared he have no chance to read ...
but only after 4 years later ...
when i am .. 18 ?
haiish ...
hope someone would just understand my feeling ..
{ / confused }
Last Updated @ 1:59 AM
you are all i need Y
Saturday, June 17, 2006
okay ...
i am feeling damn pissed of now alryt ..
haiish ...
someone hu ii trust betrayed me ..
and ii forgive tt person ..
haiish .
wth is wrong with me ...
wad am i going to do ...
monday is here ...
jus 2 more days ..
MODAY !
haiishh ...
ii heard tt ....
she noe how to fight ..
she will not onli slap me ..
wth larh ..
is lke ii oso nvr do anything to her .
and it is oso lke ...
none of her problem
no offence larrh ....
ii jus feeling damn pissed now ..
den is lke ...
fcuk man ...
ii dun wan her cum my hse ..
cos ii dun wan anyone at home .
know bout this ..
den if ii dun stay at home .
she will think ii am scared of her .
haiish .
alyssaSTEAD was lke saying ...
st marg are highly poffesional
to slap on top and below =x
hahas !
damn funni ..
she make me luff ..
den she say gayshit .
den ii was lke ..
nono ... lesbian gay shit nicer XD
haiish ..
ii dunno larhh .
damn fcuk man ..
ii wanna return him ...
but ii dun bear to giv it back larh .
cos it has been with me fer so long ..
it has my tears ,
i hugged it to sleep every night .
i bring it to wherever ii go .
den ask me return ...
is lke ..
wtf ?!
and it has followed me MONTHS .
den say wad return belt
i can have the bear .
den wad fcuk now .
and ii reach there b4 3.13 pm !
forget it ..
jus feeling damn pissed off ..
next tym tok to him .
mus save conversation .
den have proof ..
{ / promise breaker }
Last Updated @ 11:43 PM
you are all i need Y
megan and chloe
loving you for the last time
orange skeleton pumpkin <33
chloe and caleb
the plane xD
caleb took this =)
chloe and caleb
caleb took this xD Last Updated @ 10:06 PM
you are all i need Y
got back from indonesia ~
flight was at 9.15 pm ..
den reach there bout 11 plus ii think .
summore there the time is 1 hr slower !
it make me think tt time pass so slow !
cool larhh !
and guess wad !
in the airplane .
the air strewardess ,
they give me one spongebob slipper .
and another .. sum thing thing .
and no one get tt ONLY KIDS ~
wth ! ii feel damn paiisehh larh !
i am FOURTEEEN !
hahahs !
reach airport ...
den driver pick us ..
den went home ...
the house is so damn big can !
den bathe den watch teebee XD
den sleep ..
tuesday ~
caleb woke me up by shouting at my ear !
and jumping on me !
was damn tired larrh ...
he went skool ..
den ii went sleep ..
den woke up at 9am .
den bathe and stuff ..
the driver send me to find my aunt .
den we went to sum mall to eat .
nice nice !
ii <33>
den went caleb skool ..
he went to tell all his teachers about me .
wth ? then the teacher say
he keep talking bout me .
loll !!
we went send caleb home ..
den went sum shopping mall XD
went inside a shop
saw alot nice nice clothes
den my aunt ..
nvr see the price ..
jus take take take ..
try try try .
den ii outside sit ROT
she almost buy down the shop larh !
3 big bags of clothes and shoes .
and she spent lke ..
S$6oo
aunt bought me a shirt .. which cost S$2oo plus
wth ? the most expensive shirt ii ever had !
and a heels XD
it is HIGH but .. nice nice XD
den went fetch my uncle ..
den go out makan ..
chinese restuarant..
den go back ...
watch worldCUP ,
den sleep ..
wednesday ~
the same ...
as awake by caleb and
this time megan !
they two can make me irritated can !
they jump ; scream ; beat
jus to wake me up . !
wash up ..
den went to caleb skool ..
help out ..
cos they have international friendship day .
all the kids there so cute !
hahahas .
it is an international british school ..
which is lke 1 hour frm home ?
den ...
help here and there ..
den ii was drag by caleb to go to class with him .
damn paiisehh can .
all there the kids all 4-5 yrs old .
den ii sit dwn there .
den the teacher intro me to them .
den they all started STARING at me .
den they started sticking to me ..
ALL OF THEM !
went to play sand ..
den ii was drag by them .
they are seriously cute !
one of them and caleb ask me pick by stones ..
den the rest cum to me .
ask me pick up .
wahlaos !
so cham ..
den ii giv this ..
the other will SCREAM
scaryy larrh ..
but they were cute .
dey was lke ..
ii dun friend you anymore .
the voice was the one which make it cute !
hahahas !
den went play ..
den sneak out find aunt .
den go makan with her friends .
sum italian restuartant .
den ii fall asleep there .
den going home ..
ii fall asleep in the car again .
den ii go home oso sleep
lke damn pig can !
den went eat dinner at sum hotel ..
steak XD
omg omg !
damn nice
lolls !!
den went home .
watch WORLDCUP again ..
thursday ~
same as before ..
den eat lunch with uncle and his friend .
den went home ..
swimming ..
THE WATER DAMNIT COLD !
den went eat dinner ...
den home ...
WORLDCUP .
blahs .
this trip is seriously one of the most BORING trip ..
Last Updated @ 9:02 PM
you are all i need Y
Monday, June 12, 2006
4 more hours ii will be out of SINGAPORE ..
fcuk lorrhs ..
damn fcuking pissed with HIM larh .
is lke ..
he made me reach his hse by 3.13 pm
jus to give him back his belt ..
if later than that .
ii will have to return him tt bear too ..
den ii reach there lke 2.35 pm ..
ii sat CAB down can !
which cost me $5 when ii have no money ..
fcuk larrh ...
den go there ..
he say wad ..
he wan his bear back ..
kaobeii ..
den say wad ..
he never say ii can sit cab dwn ..
ii relli damn fcuking pissed larrh !
arrggh .
ohyah ...
and his gf will cum dwn my house and find me ..
if ii dun return his things ..
and SLAP me ..
aiyah ..
whatever lorrhs ..
is lke ..
give people things den wanna take back ..
what kinda sense does this even made ..
damnit pissed ...
going to leave den this shiet come out ..
must give him back that bear within 1 WEEK ...
aiyah ..
wadever larrh ....
{ / fcuk larrh .. }
Last Updated @ 5:50 PM
you are all i need Y
Sunday, June 11, 2006
tmr leaving for JARAKATA !
flight at 9.15 pm ~
so gonna miss singapore ..
especially all my friends and blahs xD
hahahas !
was like at home for the whole day ..
damnit ..
feel damnit bored ...
lolls lolls !
ii miss HIM ~
haiish ..
ii dunno lerrhs .
ii started like thinking of him alort ...
cant sleep every nite ..
although he have girlfriend ler ..
but ...
ii not going do anything larrh ...
he is happie anyway ..
ii wont do anything ((:
have ii even forget bout him ?
haiish ..
seems so difficult to forget sumone you relli LOVE ..
what to do ..
nadirah can see ii havent forget him
ii still dunno why is she angry with me
about that day ..
haiish ...
and ii dunno wad is natasha decision lerrh ..
ii relli hope she will stay with us ..
ii dun wan mwackGANG to break up ..
haiish ..
ii dun wanna lose them ...
although ii have lost 2 sisters this holiday ..
hope they will cum back to me lorrhs ..
life without them is so different ..
no happiness ..
no joy ...
just loneliness ..
haiish ...
come back to me ..
because ii need you by my side
ii love you , forever .
and ii will wait fer you ..
no matter what happen <33
{ / love is selfish - }
Last Updated @ 11:05 PM
you are all i need Y
Saturday, June 10, 2006
this pain you have caused me
that no one ever felt before ..
am i
bleeding , screaming , dying, trying
bleeding ..
as the scars on my heart
can never be healed ..
it stays here ..
it remains here ..
can anyone even feel the hurt ii am feeling ...
screaming
at the thought that you no longer cared ..
and that you are never coming back
together with me
dying
because you have stopped my breathing
and becasue you and me are dead ...
away from this world ,
never to live again ..
trying ,
trying to forget my past ...
trying to move on and start anew
to breathe once more ...
this pain is killing me ..
save me from this pain ...
{ . / mend my heart back }
Last Updated @ 9:08 AM
you are all i need Y
2 more days going jarakata ~
hahhas !
now talking to evil baobeii ..
damnit funny larrh ..
she making me go crazy !
keep calling me wad shiet ..
den we toking bout last tym ..
durg primary skool ...
liking this guy ..
or can ii say a gay
lolls !
damnit funni larrh !
she damn damn mean can ..
say bad things about people !
mean mean !
hahhahas !
love her bits man <33
anywayy ...
ii will be away on monday night XD
go jarakata ; STONE
sadd sadd ..
cant go out with baobeiis on tuesday ..
siian !
anywayy ..
bout nat tt thing ...
haiish ..
ii relli dunno ..
she say she not leaving cos of alyssa ...
ii relli pray that she will not leave us ..
without her ..
there will not be anymore laughter ...
haiish ...
hope she will relli consider ..
MONICAWANG called me !
damnit funni larrh !
ii was lke luffing away ..
lolls lolls !
she call me ...
tell me what she having camp ..
den wad calling everyone fer ih file ; ih foilio ..
den den , she ask me go skool tmr morning ..
siiao larrh ..
lolls..
den ii went give her excuse ..
siian siian ..
lord , i pray that everything will be alright ..
i pray that natasha will not be leaving us ..
and that everyone will be fine this holiday
i pray that you ; and those people out there
would forgive me whatever mistake i did
Last Updated @ 2:10 AM
you are all i need Y
Friday, June 09, 2006
haiish ...
this holiday relli suck larrh ..
so manii things happening ...
lose 2 sisters ; mahera and chyna ..
ii shouldnt have actually made them angry ..
should have go home early ..
now ii lost them ..
it seems too late ..
ii hope tt everything would be lke before ..
i wanna apoligised to them ..
but i think ...
they wont believe me anymore ..
haish ...
den .. next problem ..
me and nadirah ...
ii dunno wad have ii actually done wrong ..
sth bout HIM ?
bout me not changing ??
ii relli dunno wad have ii done yest ..
to make her so mad ...
ii hope she could tell me wad ii did wrong ..
ii dun wanna lose sumone again .
ii relli dun wish ...
another problem ..
nat and alyssa ..
haiish ..
nat wanna leave mwackgang ..
why must all this happen ?
jus because of one stoopid gossip ?
girls gossip ..
or can ii say .. everyone does ..
dun tell me tt ..
you nvr tok bad behind ppl back before ?
tt's impossible larrh ...
jus because of one gossip ..
you wanna leave mwackgang ...
issit worth it ?
haiish ..
although now everything is not alryt ...
me and mahera and chyna ..
me and nadirah ..
nat and aly ...
haiish ..
ii hope we can lke jus cum out and tok ..
and settle things out ...
ii wish ii could apologised to them ..
wadever ii had done wrong ...
and hope they will forgive me ..
ii learn my mistake ..
ii wan back the past ..
where they is laughter and joy ..
lke everything on 16o5o6 ?
or can ii say those days durg campfire ?
and ii hope they giv each other a chance ..
another problem .. HIM ..
haiish ..
ii dunno why ii feel so worried ..
ii tot ii alreadi lke forget him .
dun love him ..
ii dunno ..
ii feel so confused ..
ii am like feeling so worried..
when ii heard tt he is going in boys home ..
1 month later ..
9o % ...
haiish ..
is lke ..
ii noe he have a gf ..
he found his HAPPINESS with someone else ..
but why cant ii jus lke ..
let go of him ..
ii relli dunno larh !
ii told myself if he is happie .
ii will be happie ..
but with so mani problems ..
how can ii be happie ?
haiish ..
it is not easy to forget sumone you truly love ..
everything just take time ..
to heal ..
Last Updated @ 1:50 AM
you are all i need Y
Thursday, June 08, 2006
haiish ..
ii relli dunno wad's going on now larhh ..
haiish ...
ii lose them ler ..
den is lke ...
todae another problem ..
ii dun even noe wad had ii even done wrong ..
wad she said was ii nvr change ..
i dun even noe wad have ii done ..
fcuk this world larhh !
ii tot todae can be fun ..
but it proof me wrong ..
haiish ..
i relli dunno ..
ii forget him not ?
ii dunno ..
can she just tell me wad have ii done ?
ii hope ii can turn time back ..
but ii cant ..
ii feel so depressed without their laughter and joy ..
everything jus seems to change ...
ii hope there can be sth ii can do ..
to make them forgive me ...
and make things back to b4 ..
when we are together ..
toking bout our life and stuff ...
it seems so difficult to tok to them ..
when tt day ii saw her ..
my mood change ..
ii was about to break dwn ..
ii dunno ..
ii jus felt damnit sad ..
but .. is lke ..
ii told myself to be strong lorrh ...
haiish ..
tt day ii wont wanna spoilt the day ..
haiish ..
ii relli dunno wad to do larrh ...
ii seriously sick and tired ..
ii will break dwn anytime ..
just the matter of time ...
Last Updated @ 1:07 AM
you are all i need Y